Santa's Little Helper

This is a guest post by AKUS
Have you ever wondered why little Jewish children in the Holy Land do not get Christmas presents?
It’s not Santa’s fault, actually. Like the Tooth Fairy, his little helpers seem unfamiliar with the geography of the Holy Land, and despite his best efforts they misdirect him. Israel is so technologically advanced I suspect that some elves unfamiliar with technology may be programming the GPS on his sleigh incorrectly.
For example, one of Santa’s little helpers, Rachel Shabi, yet another Israel-bashing Johnny (or Jill) come lately from Britain, who seems to have to made aliyah only in order to write nasty articles about Israel for the Guardian (one wonders if these Guardianistas receive the usual assistance from the Aliyah Desk in London to help them get to Israel) gave Santa the wrong directions to the little town of Modi’in.

Apparently concerned about the possibility of further violence in Gaza following the shooting of three Palestinians, Shabi wrote the following for the Guardian:

According to Israeli officials they had been scouting the area for a possible infiltration operation, but according to Hamas officials and medics they had been searching for scrap metal to salvage.

(You have to be pretty naïve to buy that scrap metal story but I suppose it was the best Hamas could come up with at short notice … unless they were looking for remnants of Kassams that didn’t make it over the fence)

More serious in its implications, however, was the shooting dead of three members of Fatah’s armed wing – the al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades – in a raid on the northern West Bank city of Nablus, apparently in retaliation for the shooting of an Israeli driving near the settlement at Shavei Shomron. …
…It also follows the discovery of an improvised explosive device on a busy road leading to the huge Israeli settlement at Modi’in with a letter from an al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades unit claiming responsibility. [emphasis added]

Well, let’s leave the politics aside for once, and focus on the geography, since its Christmas time, and Santa needs to know how to find the good Jewish children in the little town of Modi’in.
Here’s a map of Modi’in:

Notice two statements in Shabi’s article that probably confused Santa:

1. It is west of the dashed 1949 Armistice Agreement Lines (the Green Line) (there is a double line around a “bulge” or former non-man’s land in that area). Since we typically use the word “settlement” for areas built up by Israel to the east of the Green Line, it is misleading to call it a “settlement”, just as Tel Aviv is not a “settlement”
2. It is not huge. It is about 1 mile square. If you include the entire Modi’in-Reut-Maccabim complex, it is about 19 sq miles, or about 4 miles by 5 miles. I am sure many of my readers drive greater distances to work where they live.

Those basic errors in location and geography explain why Santa couldn’t deliver the Christmas presents this year to the good Jewish children of in the little town of Modi’in.
For those who don’t believe in Santa Claus, or at least those who don’t believe he gives Christmas presents to good Jewish children, the moral of the story is, like the story of the Tooth Fairy.

On the rare occasions that the Guardian prints a “fact” about Israel:

If you want “the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth” – check it.

Very often their “facts” are – wrong.

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