Some light entertainment from the Daily Mash

I think the Daily Mash reads CiF Watch.  [Warning: this is a tad crude]

ISRAEL’S attack on a Palestinian aid ship will make it easier for Guardian readers to sound as if they know what they are talking about, it was claimed last night.
Dr Martin Bishop, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Benjamin Netanyahu has to realise that his aggressive stance towards Hamas and Hezbollah is playing into the hands of some of the worst people in the world.
“I simply cannot sit through another dinner party with some speccie fucker spouting off about Israel while all the single, attractive women around the table stare at him like he was Martin Luther King.
“Meanwhile I’m sitting there knowing it’s actually a tad more complicated and that the Israelis are dealing with people who will not rest until it they’ve all been wiped from the face of the Earth and if it was us then we might just get a bit jumpy too, particularly if someone had tried to do it before.
“But if I come out and say that then this vegetarian ponce is going to accuse me of wanting to make a fancy cocktail with the blood of Palestinian babies and there goes any chance I may have of picking off the drunkest woman from the pack.
“If they could just protect their borders against exploding maniacs with a little more tact then that would help me enormously in my quest for a really good blow job.”

Read the rest here.

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