Crazy Britons Survive the Strofades IV

Crazy Britons Survive the Strofades IV

Lunatics on board Maltese-flagged cargo vessel that forced its way out of Libyan port of Derna in apparent dispute over money

Bowwow Oy-cott , Saturday 12 November 2010 13.42 GMT

This picture has nothing to do with the story but it is a boat and it indicates the sort of ship that Israel does not stop from entering Gaza. Photograph: AKUS/CW Images

Although it has little to do with this incident or the picture at the head of this column, a British scandal sheet, the UK Guardian, claims that an American with the Irish name of O’Keefe, “survived ” a pleasure trip on the Mavi Marmara. The feeble basis for the Guardian’s scandalous claim is that O’Keefe was completely unharmed when that ship was intercepted by the Israeli Navy as it tried to enter the blockaded sea area around Gaza. The Guardian has not yet announced if O’Keefe “survived” a trip from Libya to Greece on the Strofades IV after he and others either did or did not attempt to hijack the ship. Nevertheless, his fellow lunatics are now referring to him as “Jonah” O’Keefe, and have threatened to throw him over board if the Guardian reports that he has survived any more trips.

An unknown self-styled Irish film-maker, David Callander, who appears to have lost his chance to create a new anti-Israeli cause célèbre to promote his hitherto non-existent career, also appears to have survived the Strofades IV despite threats made by a Greek soldier (he claims) : “We tried to go with [the Libyans] and then we were physically dragged back onto the ship and a soldier said if I tried to get off the ship then he’d shoot me,” he said.” Bravely, Callander decided to remain with the ship. He also pointed out that the crew had only offered him a Pepsi. Given his indignation about this incident, he must clearly prefer Coke.

Callander is particularly upset that the Guardian referred to the lunatics on board the Strofades IV as “Britons”, when, in fact, he and one other are Irish. He is appealing for funds to get back to Ireland since, owing to the inability of the head of Germany’s Central Bank to pronounce the name of the Irish currency, known as the punt Éireannach, it has been decided not to bail out Ireland and the survivors of the Strofades IV until they come up with a more European sounding name. (Clark and Dawes Explain the European Economic Situation). “Let them row back home”, the Captain of the Strofades IV said from a secret location reported to be Tel Aviv, where he is enjoying a holiday with the $82,000 he ran off with. Meanwhile, O’Keefe has angrily pointed out that he, too, is not British, despite his Irish name.

The survivors of the Strofades IV held an impromptu press conference that no one attended because they were too busy not attending the press conference in  Ghajar and announced their intention to petition the UNHRC to investigate the Israeli Government for its role in this affair. Harriet “ChickenLady” Sherwood is in the King David Hotel in Jerusalem copying the information from a colleague who was not present at the conference for publication tomorrow. The Boycott, Divest, and Sanction Israel movement formed a Greece-Libya Friendship committee yesterday. It has claimed the Strofades IV  as another triumph for the BDS movement and strongly supported the petition. The Guardian has promised to run 37 stories about the incident, with videos of Chinese people feeding chickens near Beijing mislabeled “Made in Israel”.

Meanwhile, the Guardian’s own Shameless Milliner reported that Bibi Netanyahu and Hilary Clinton spent 7 hours together in a hotel room in New York, emerging tired but in very good spirits. After intense activity by both sides, Hilary has agreed to veto the pending resolution in the UN condemning Israel for the damage done to the Libyan port of Derna if Bibi does not mention their hotel “meeting” to Bill. Shameless has pointed out that he wishes he is Irish.

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