The Tragical History of Doctor Thomas

A Guest Scene by AKUS

From the Quarto of 2010

Act V Scene 1

During the award of the

Helen Thomas Spirit of Diversity in the Media

Dr. Thomas addresses Wayne State University.

Dr. Thomas:

“We are owned by propagandists against the Arabs.

There’s no question about that.

Congress, the White House, and Hollywood, Wall Street, are owned by the Zionists.

No question in my opinion. They put their money where their mouth is…”

The Spirit of Diversity:

Was this the face that launched a thousand flotillas

And burnt the topless towers of New York City?

Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss.

Her lips suck forth my soul; see where it flies!

Come, Helen, come, give me my soul again.

Here I will dwell, for evil be in these lips,

And all is dross that is not Helena.

I will be Osama, and for love of thee,

Instead of Troy, shall Hollywood be sacked;

And I will combat with weak Amrikus,

And wear thy colors on my plumed crest;

Yea, I will wound Zion in the heel,

And then return to Helen for a kiss.

Oh, thou art fairer than the evening air

Clad in the beauty of a thousand stars;

Brighter art thou than flaming Jihadi

When he appeared to hapless Semite;

More lovely than the monarch of the sky

In wanton Nasrallah’s azured arms;

And none but thou shalt be my paramour!

[Exeunt.]

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